


Burdened by Leadership

by Ahnis



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 07:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15505635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahnis/pseuds/Ahnis
Summary: Bellamy stops Bloodreina from killing Madi. Octavia finds peace.





	Burdened by Leadership

**Author's Note:**

> I miss linctavia and I’m a sucker for angst. Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

He acted on impulse. He curses himself because it seems it’s all he’s been doing since coming back to the ground. Whether it’s the ground or being in close proximity to Clarke he doesn’t know, but he has somehow become the heart again. 

His head was left in space along with the dreams of a new beginning and a long life of peace. Monty and Jasper were right as long as they lived, life on the ground will always be battle after battle for survival with no end to the bloodshed. 

Octavia was now part of the death toll all thanks to him. He had no choice or maybe that’s just what he needs to tell himself in order to keep going.  
It wasn’t Octavia he wanted to stop it was Bloodreina. 

Bloodreina who as soon as she laid eyes on Madi across the battle field forgot all about the true enemy. Bloodreina who instead of seeing a twelve year old child saw now only a rival commander.

And Madi instead of running away had taken a proud stand preparing herself for Bloodreina’s attack. He could see the determination in her but unlike her he wasn’t willing to bet her life in the spirits of the past commanders. 

After the part he played in making her commander she had become his responsibility. That thought and the fear of what his sister has become made his decision clear.

As soon as he shot her, the memories started pouring in seeing her for the first time, swearing to protect her always, following her to the ground. Everything he had ever done he had had done for her. In a way maybe even this was for her.

He runs to his sister who is in the ground bleeding, dying because of him she’s putting pressure to the wound and it gives him hope she might survive. As he takes a closer look to the way the blood is flowing too rapidly and her pale complexion he berates himself for being so naive. 

He expects to find her gaze filled with hatred and words about how he has betrayed her twice now but he hears no such thing. Instead he is met with silence as she gazes towards the sky as if seeing it for the first time. 

When their eyes finally meet it almost brakes him because he can see it, this is not Bloodreina anymore this is Octavia looking at him.

The revaluation brings him to his knees and he weeps like he’s only done once before when he thought her dead at the hands of Azgeda. 

The feeling of her hand reaching for his brings him back to reality. Her eyes have a softness that he hadn’t seen since Lincoln’s death. 

“Please forgi-“ he pleads choking on the rest of his sentence.

“There is nothing to forgive... big brother, thank you…. for freeing me” she manages to say.

“There’s so much I need to tell you” she chokes out, blood gushing from her mouth and tears slowly dripping. 

“No save your strength, I’ll find Clarke she’ll save you I promise” He practically whispers trying to hold back his anguish and guilt.

“There’s no time” she says in between shallow breaths “stay with me”

“I need you to tell Indra …. I’m sorry and that I love her. Thank her for everything she’s done for me.”

“Tell Madi and Clarke to forgive me” she coughs out. 

He almost laughs at the idea of being able to get even close enough to convey his sisters message, Clarke won’t even let her near him. Her anger still burning bright in her electric blue eyes every time she catches a glimpse of him.

“She’ll forgive you don’t worry” she tells him as if reading his thoughts.

“Just don’t make the same mistakes I did ….tell her how much you love her…. before it’s too late, before you’re never able to tell her again” she declares as if his feelings for Clarke are not up for discussion. 

He wants to tell her she’s wrong that his feeling for her are not romantic but he won’t waste their last minutes arguing and he’s not sure if it’s entirely true anymore. 

“Please protect our people and forgive me for what I’ve done big brother, I’m grateful for …. everything you’ve done for me” she says slower then before the blood loss making her weaker. 

He can see her dozing off, losing consciousness. There is so much he wants to tell her as well but he just continues to cry and assures her there is nothing to forgive and that he loves her now and always. 

“Please stay with me, O.” He wails after he notices she’s been silent for too long and she looks as if she not breathing.

“I can’t” she answers. “I’m finally going home …. to Lincoln” 

“Goodbye big brother, Ai gonplei ste odon”

 

 

“May we meet again” she hears her brother respond to her goodbye.

There is sorrow that comes with leaving him behind and yet being alive had become too much of a burden to her. 

The bunker had destroyed her, it turned her into a cold and merciless leader. Leadership was not for her, it had made her understand her brother and Clarke better. They always made decisions that turned them into monsters all for the sake of their people. 

She had become Bloodreina for her people to keep them alive. The problem was Bloodreina didn’t recognize when to surrender or when to stop the violence. Bloodreina had lead her people to death, to war, to bloodshed when Monty had found a solution to keep them all alive and in peace.

She was indebted to her brother who had saved her once more. She wouldn’t have been able to find peace without him because Bloodreina was bloodthirsty and relentless. Only in death could she be free of her of all the hate, pain and memories of what she had to do to lead her people. 

Had Bellamy held back she might have finally lost the fight between her and Bloodreina and let her take completely over her. So when she told him there’s nothing to forgive she really meant it.

She can feel death coming, darkness engulfing her. 

She welcomes it, soon she will be with Lincoln.

She can practically feel him. Calling out to her, reaching out for her. 

The closer it gets the more she feels like herself. 

She not Skairipa, Osleyuh, Commander or Bloodreina. 

She’s Bellamy Blake’s little sister the one he vowed to always protect. 

She’s Indra kom trikru’s second and the woman she considered like a daughter to her.

She’s the woman Lincoln fell in love with.

She’s Octavia kom skaikru and she’s finally home.


End file.
